Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Smooth Jazz (7): Rouse the Drooling Dead!

Be sure to read from the first post, you can find it here.

Smooth Jazz managed to brutally slaughter the remaining inhabitants of the entire dungeon level, resulting in a sizable army of seven assorted zombies. His army would have been significantly larger if the fresh corpses weren't so hastily devoured by his followers.

Why do they torture me so? He seethed, assessing his witless slaves. He sat on the floor chewing raw newt meat. They do not hesitate to follow or stay. They even attack whatever I tell them to. But they completely ignore commands to avoid corpses.

The zombies shambled listlessly around Smooth Jazz as he thought. He eyed them the same way loving parents might look upon their naughty child.
Not only was Smooth Jazz angry, he was confused too. His zombies did not always eat the corpses. They would sometimes ignore them, even without his command. In a puzzled need to understand, he had offered a hobgoblin corpse to his small army. Yet instead of acknowledging the fresh kill, they had continued to shamble about, drooling mindlessly.
Despite his tests, Smooth Jazz had been unable to determine the difference between the corpses greedily torn apart or those left unscathed.

Perhaps it is Yredelemnul aiding me in my quest for power. He pondered. I'll ask him now.
He stood up, setting aside his unfinished newt meal. "Yredelemnul, Yredelemnul! I wish to ask you a question!" His voice echoed through the darkness, but no answer came. "Why does my army disregard some corpses. Is this your doing?"
The booming voice of Yredelemnul answered him. "Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!" A short hiss and a click punctuated the generic message.
He must be busy. Smooth Jazz thought to himself, turning to see the remnants of his meal being wolfed down by an undead kobold.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.
Character Dump

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Smooth Jazz (6): Practicing Murder

Be sure to read from the first post, you can find it here.

Smooth jazz rounded a corner and spied a furry ball nestled by a dungeon wall. It appeared to be a rat, though it was larger than any rat he had seen before.

The rat was aggressive, but it did not present much of a challenge to Smooth Jazz and his undead crew. His pathetic bat zombie even delivered the killing blow. Smooth Jazz let out a cheer which turned into a groan as the zombie started munching on the corpse. By the time Smooth Jazz kicked the bat zombie away, there was not enough rat left to reanimate.

Ugh! That's the second time. Zombies don't even need sustenance! He thought angrily.
He cursed at his undead bat as it flapped clumsily around him, occasionally making lazy dives towards the rat remains.
'Fine, you can have it!' he yelled in resignation.
He kicked the dead rat towards the bat which started to munch noisily on the corpse. The gecko and mite zombies joined in. They reminded Smooth Jazz of pigs feeding from a trough, splattering their meal in all directions.

A few minutes later, Smooth Jazz had killed two more rats (which were also greedily consumed by his pets) and found another potion. This potion contained a cyan liquid with sickly lumps floating on the surface.
I hope this is still alright. He thought to himself. Death was something to be avoided, but if he were to die, he'd much rather die in a heroic battle, rather than ingesting what appeared to be the contents of a sewer beneath a wizard's abode. I'll decide what to do with this later.

He bent to stash the lumpy potion away and heard a 'clink' on the wall behind him. A dart rolled on the floor into his vision. He looked up to see a kobold readying another dart to throw at him. The kobold had grey skin with the head of an ferocious dog. It was frothing lightly at the mouth.
Smooth Jazz had nowhere to retreat to, his zombies occupied the narrow passage behind him.
I could probably charge at it, those darts shouldn't be able to penetrate my scales.
Smooth Jazz sprinted towards the kobold, his undead army following loyally behind him.

The kobold panicked. It was probably a rare occasion for a group of zombies and a draconian to come charging at him. He threw a dart, it missed Smooth Jazz, embedding itself into the undead bat behind him.
The kobold regained its wits and threw another dart. This one hit the draconian charging at him, but bounced off his scales and also hit the bat. The charging draconian sliced through the wide-eyed kobold before it could draw its dagger. The small blade bounced noisily on the rocky dungeon floor before coming rest.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.
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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Smooth Jazz (5): Baseball Bat

Be sure to read from the first post, you can find it here.

Smooth Jazz found three more scrolls in a nearby hallway. He pocketed all four plus the black potion, intending to appraise them once he had cleared the area. It may cause problems if one of the scrolls drew attention from the beasts lurking in the darkness, or if the potion made him ill.

At the end of the hallway Smooth Jazz felt something furry brush against his head. The furry thing fell from the ceiling and flapped messily around in front of him. It was a large grey bat. Smooth Jazz must have accidentally awoken the bat by bumping it with his head as it slept, clinging to the dark ceiling of the dungeon.

Annoyed, Smooth Jazz poked his sword towards the bat to clear his way. The bat narrowly dropped under the sword and crashed clumsily into Smooth Jazz's gut.
It didn't hurt, it barely winded him, but he felt violated nonetheless.

The bat confusedly flapped away from Smooth Jazz as he swung his sword, now intending to maim the annoying bat rather than shoo it away. The bat dodged his attack again, though Smooth Jazz began to wonder how intentional the bat's dodges were. Its flight path was so erratic it looked as though it might also crash into one of the crumbling rock walls. That would save him some trouble at least.

Smooth Jazz was vaguely aware of his undead minions waiting patiently behind him in the corridor.
I should make this a clean kill if I want to add the bat to my army.
He held up his sword again, swinging horizontally in a wide arc. He slammed the bat with the flat of his blade which reverberated with a satisfying 'ting!' The bat tumbled through the air, crashing into a wall, then crumpled to the floor.
Whoops, that was a bit too hard. Hopefully I can still salvage those remains.
Thankfully the bat corpse was not too difficult to reanimate. It fluttered around Smooth Jazz less energetically, but also less erratically than before.
This bat may be no more than meat fodder, but at least it is less annoying in death.

He turned to look at his army.
And that brings my army count up to three recruits.
Smooth Jazz grinned proudly at them. They returned his pride by drooling vacantly.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.
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Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Smooth Jazz (4): The Mite (Part 2)

Be sure to read from the first post, you can find it here.

Smooth Jazz ran back into a short hallway.
They'll catch me if I keep running.
Fear gripped his chest.
I'm going to die here. I'm going to die to these pathetic creatures. I have to fight them, it's the only way I'll survive this.
He skidded to a halt.
If I have to fight them, then it'll have to be here.
The short hallway was also narrow. It was not wide enough to allow people, or creatures, through side-by-side.
At least I can fight them one at a time.

Smooth Jazz stabbed at the gecko. His blade pierced its fleshy head. The gecko drooped almost immediately. At the same time he felt the antitoxins in his body beginning to work on the poison, he started to feel a lot better. Confidence and adrenaline surged through Smooth Jazz him.
I can do this!
He withdrew his sword from the gecko and attacked the approaching mite.
Once again his sword bounced off the thick armor.
The mite bit his foot before he could dodge. An alarming amount of blood gushed out.
Its attacks are too fast!

Smooth Jazz drew in a deep breath and swung at the mite. His sword dug deep into the mite. It struggled helplessly against the cold steel, antennae slowly drooping as the its movements slowed. Smooth Jazz kicked the mite from his sword. It laid on the ground, twitching for a while, before finally dying.

Sitting on the cool stone floor, Smooth Jazz leaned against a wall and laughed.
That was too close.
Despite coming uncomfortably close to his own death, he felt fantastic.
I think I'll like it here. He mused to himself, tending to his wounded legs and foot.

Once he was feeling a bit better, he replaced his lost cockroach by reanimating the gecko and mite into undead servants.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.
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Thursday, 27 February 2014

Smooth Jazz (3): The Mite (Part 1)

Be sure to read from the first post, you can find it here.

There's a lot of work involved when raising undead armies. Bloody work. Any experienced necromancer can tell you this, but Smooth Jazz is not an experienced necromancer. He never had the chance to learn from one either. And his new-found god, Yredelemnul, gave no advice on leading undead armies. Smooth Jazz had only raised a few corpses before, but he knew raising an entire army would be more rewarding than anything else he had accomplished in his life. And despite his moronic zombie roach he felt elated at the ease of his first three encounters.
If every creature in this dungeon is as trivial as the goblin, gecko, and cockroach, then this will be much easier than I expected.

His thoughts were interrupted when he spied a scroll of paper sitting innocently on the floor in a large room.

Paper? I wonder if someone left a note here.
Smooth Jazz took a tentative step towards the scroll and noticed another creature approaching from beyond it. A giant mite.
Something in this dungeon must be causing mundane creatures to grow to incredible sizes, or perhaps someone is growing overlarge creatures for some reason.

Smooth Jazz took a step into the room, noticing a movement to his left. Another giant gecko in a hallway he had not seen moments before. He looked back over to see the mite coming closer. A small, black phial sat on its side behind the mite. It appeared to be filled with a dark liquid.

That looks like a magical potion. If it is, then the scroll might be of a magical nature too.

He stepped closer to the mite, hoping his cockroach would distract the nearing gecko. The mite sprang forwards, its mandibles working furiously before biting into his leg. Smooth Jazz grimaced as drops of blood fell to the floor. The bite hurt his leg more than it should have.

Crap, its bite is poisonous!
He swung his sword in a wide arc, making an opening in the mite's thick exoskeleton. A few drops of green goo lazily dripped down the body of the mite. The goo looked similar to the cockroach's goo.
I'll worry about the poison once this thing is dead.

Smooth Jazz's next swing bounced off the mite's natural armor. It retaliated by biting his other leg.

Unholy hell, that hurt! I need to get out of here.
He looked to his side to see the undead roach fighting the gecko. He backed away from the mite, hoping to hide behind the roach. The gecko noticed him and bit onto his scales. Thankfully it couldn't get a firm grip and slid off. The gecko then turned back to his roach, probably deciding the smooth brown scales were too thick.

Smooth Jazz continued backing away, watching as both the mite and the gecko took turns to bite into his poor cockroach.

At least the undead can't be poisoned.

I think I could get a good strike in on the gecko while it's fighting. He thought to himself.

His sword dug into the stone floor next to the gecko.
How did I miss that?!
The gecko recognised the threat and bit him again. This time its sharp teeth managed to get a good grip and pierce his scales.
He yanked his sword from the floor and looked up to see the mite biting into his cockroach. It reared up and slowly disintegrated, dead roach dust drifted carelessly away.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.

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Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Smooth Jazz (2): Goblin and Gecko

Be sure to read from the first post, you can find it here.

More rock pillars awaited behind the ones surrounding the entrance. Smooth Jazz and his cockroach companion squeezed between the pillars until they found a narrow passageway leading further into the cave.

Smooth Jazz rounded a corner to find more monsters. A squat goblin yelped in surprise at the sight of him. It had small beady eyes, a flat nose, and pale brown skin that looked as though it were covered in years of dungeon dirt and grime.

Looking past the goblin, Smooth Jazz noticed movement further down the hallway. A giant gecko, roughly the same size as his cockroach. The gecko turned in surprise at the raspy cry of the goblin. Its head tilted to the side, looking at the goblin, then at Smooth Jazz. It started climbing a wall of the hallway towards the goblin.

How did those creatures not notice each other before I arrived? Smooth Jazz thought to himself. Do goblins domesticate wild creatures?

Smooth Jazz stepped further towards the corner, creating room for his cockroach to fight alongside him. The goblin stepped closer. Drooling lightly.

Smooth Jazz stabbed at the goblin as the cockroach lunged towards it, but it sidestepped both attacks and weakly punched Smooth Jazz in the gut. The brown scales covering Smooth Jazz's body allowed him to ignore the punch so he could swing his blade again.

His sword dug into the shoulder of the goblin. Crimson flowed over its sallow skin. Its eyes widened as it crumpled to the ground. Smooth Jazz yanked his sword from the mess on the floor.

One down, now his pet.
Looking up, he saw his cockroach had slipped by him to engage the giant gecko which was now clinging to the ceiling. The cockroach dropped to the floor, barely ducking under a gecko bite which revealed large pointy teeth.
I'd best kill that gecko myself lest it damage my cockroach.
Smooth Jazz grabbed his cockroach before it could attack, then swung himself around, switching places with the insect, narrowly avoiding another bite by the gecko.

Smooth Jazz stabbed at the gecko, his blade sinking into one of the gecko's fleshy paws. The gecko dropped from the ceiling, thumping to the floor. It awkwardly bounced over Smooth Jazz's tail as he spun around. Whilst midair, it bit onto his arm, its teeth scraping on his hard scales. Smooth Jazz slashed at its neck, but it released his arm early and dropped to the floor again. He swung once more at the gecko. It leaped to the side again, however Smooth Jazz was already spinning around again. The squishy gecko collided with his tail with a 'Thwack!'. It slammed into the opposite wall, sticking for a moment, then tumbled lifelessly to the ground.

I think I went a bit overboard there. Smooth Jazz thought to himself, prodding the remains of the gecko. It looked as though most of the bones in its body had broken either from the collision with his tail or the wall.

There's no hope reanimating that mess. At least I can raise that goblin to fight for me. He turned to examine the goblin, only to find his undead cockroach chewing vacantly over the goblin corpse. There was little of it remaining, certainly not enough to reanimate.
He cursed at the cockroach. It gave no sign that it understood his ranting and instead ripped free another chunk of goblin flesh. 
Smooth Jazz sighed and continued walking. His cockroach followed, still chewing on filthy goblin meat.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.
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Monday, 24 February 2014

Smooth Jazz (1)

Smooth Jazz peered into the darkness. His draconian body tensed, ready to defend himself against the horrors of the dungeon.


His surroundings slowly became clearer as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Pillars surrounded him as though welcoming him into this deathtrap of a labyrinth.
A voice boomed in his mind: "Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!". Smooth Jazz stepped into the dungeon smiling to himself.

Smooth Jazz never realised what was missing from his life until he discovered Yredelemnul, the god of death, a few months ago. The concept of amassing undead armies made Smooth Jazz feel giddy. Why put yourself in danger when you can command the dead to sacrifice themselves for you? He had been practicing his reanimation rituals as much as possible over the last few weeks. That was until the townsfolk discovered who had been excavating graves in the small hours of the morning.

Smooth Jazz took a few steps into the thick darkness. He rounded a pillar near the entrance of the dungeon just as a giant segmented leg slashed towards him. He jumped aside, narrowly avoiding the sudden attack.
Ahh my first foe. He thought to himself as he regained his footing. Is that a cockroach?!
He pushed his astonishment away as he swung his honed falchion down towards it. He'd have plenty of time to analyse the beast after it dies.
The curved blade bounced off the tough exoskeleton as the insect lunged towards Smooth Jazz again. He ducked as the cockroach loudly chomped the air above him.
Shiny limbs continued to flail towards Smooth Jazz in a flurry of attacks. Ducking and weaving, he repeatedly swung his blade at the creature, occasionally pivoting on the spot to sweep the insect off its legs with his thick tail.
A large segmented leg plopped heavily to the floor as the falchion cleaved through the air. The massive insect screeched in agony, rearing up on its hind limbs. Smooth Jazz seized the opportunity and slashed his blade across the underside of the creature. Green goo spilled forth as the cockroach crashed to the dungeon floor. Releasing a deep breath, he wiped the sticky goo off his sword before sheathing it.

I should have known that such grotesque creatures may live in the darkness here. If only I had more warning from those blasted villagers, then I could have practiced my sword fighting beforehand.

He bent down to examine the giant cockroach corpse. Well I guess now is a good time to try reanimating my first non-humanoid creature. He slowed his breathing as he went through the motions of rebinding soul to body.

Nothing happened.

Feeling slightly anxious, Smooth Jazz tried again. As his hands moved in the practiced motions the severed leg slid towards where it had been hacked off, then reattached itself to the wound. All of the legs began to move, lifting the body of the cockroach off the dungeon floor. The undead cockroach turned to face Smooth Jazz, calmly awaiting his command.
That's better! He thought to himself, smiling at the first recruit of his unstoppable undead army. Taking a few steps, Smooth Jazz looked over his shoulder to see the lumbering corpse following a few steps behind him, legs skittering evenly across the floor.

DCSS Version 0.14 trunk. Smooth Jazz began as a Draconian Death Knight.

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